Marine Corps Diary, Part I: "The Few. The Proud."

The next few entries that I will be posting were journals that I had written on Facebook for the people in my life that were unaware of the direction I had decided to take in my life. Majority of my blogs from here on out will not be nearly as personal.

"Some of you may know that over the last year and a half I’ve been preparing myself (mostly physically) for the rigors of Marine Corps recruit training, a.k.a. boot camp. Though, there’s a good chance the majority of you did not know this – not until now.

Just so everything is clear, with everyone, I will tell you of my journey up until now.
In March of last year (2009), I was at a dead-end in my life. It had been nearly a year since I had graduated from high school, I had no interest in college, and I had been working at the same job making less than eight dollars an hour, with little to no real advancement opportunities (which I blame on myself entirely). To me, life just sucked; it was bleak and dull because I was so unhappy with my job, had no love-life to speak of and I was clinically obese (just to add insult to injury).

You might be wondering now, “Well, what changed that?”


In my darkest hour, I asked myself some serious questions;



“How are you going to make a difference in the world?”

“Ten years from now when everybody is talking about their success stories, what will YOU have to offer? What will you tell them?”

“Everybody else is moving on with their lives, so why aren’t you?”


I looked to other people in my life for inspiration but all the advice they could offer was to go to college or get a different job. These weren’t the answers that I was looking for so I sought answers from the few people in my life that chose not to take the college or full-time job route – those that instead enlisted in the military. It reminded me of a simpler time in my life when I actually had a dream of what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do with my life – I wanted to be a Marine.

Now, you may be wondering why I hadn’t thought of it sooner or why I hadn’t joined up as soon as I walked off the stage at graduation. The first thing that kept me from following my dream was, simply, peer pressure. In high school, my older friends told me that the military would only screw me over, and they’re basically just an evil organization that will brainwash you into killing women and children for the hell of it – and let’s face it, at 15-years-old you don’t want to tell your peers that you aspire to being a “baby killer”. Yes, I now know that these things are not true, and they are just ridiculous myths made up by ignorant people who are either fearful for the sake of those they care about or are just too afraid to accomplish such feats of selflessness themselves.

You know what the second thing was? It was a combination of being overweight, out of shape, having no self-confidence, questioning my physical abilities and actually being afraid of what others thought of me. So, I had to convince myself that becoming a Marine was actually an attainable goal. I had to convince myself that I could meet the weight and fitness standards, and that once I earned that Title, I could prove all the critics wrong.

At this point, I was still too scared to contact a recruiter or tell anybody about what I had planned on doing with my life, so I did all my research independently. I used what little money I made to buy books on the Marine Corps and to buy exercise equipment since I was also too afraid to take my fatass to a gym. I absorbed every bit of knowledge that I could get my hands on while trying to figure out how I could safely drop from 190lbs. to 150.

For nearly six months, my weight yo-yoed between 194 and 178, until mid-September. At this point in time, I had told about a handful of people about my decision, and thankfully they were all very supportive. I had built up a small amount of confidence in myself, but the weight was just not coming off the way I wanted it to, and I just could not keep it off. What changed on September 9th was that I decided to take a leap forward by actually talking to some Marines in hopes that it would finally inspire me to actually drop the weight.

I found myself wandering around the Alaska State Fair with nothing to do, so I thought I'd donate blood. Coincidentally, the Marines’ booth was right next to the blood donation van. After I had setup an appointment to donate blood, I had a solid hour to kill before my actual appointment, and with that hour I chose to talk to the Marines whom had just graduated from MCRD (Marine Corps Recruit Depot) San Diego. At first, I was very timid, but I warmed up to them easily after finding out that these guys were my age, and one of them actually had to drop 40 pounds before he enlisted – just like me. Just talking to these Marines, and realizing that they were just as human as I was, gave me the courage to fill out a form then and there to request information from a recruiter.

Two days after I had filled out that form, I received a call that I will never forget. It would be my first of many encounters with Staff Sergeant Pelham, a Marine Corps Recruiter based in Anchorage. He asked me about my height and weight, I told him about my situation and asked him how much I needed to lose to get into the Delayed-Entry Program. We talked very briefly, and he said he would be in contact with me in two weeks.

When he called back two weeks later, I had only managed to drop about four pounds and I was still in the 180’s. He was happy to hear of my progress and he said he would call again in two weeks. I wasn’t happy with my progress but I kept at a workout regimen and trying to watch what I ate. SSgt. Pelham did call me again two weeks later, but I had barely lost any weight, and this would be the last time that I would hear from him for several months.

Fortunately, I still continued with my weight-loss, striving to reach 170 before I went on vacation in California over Christmas and New Years’. I did so in a matter of 3 weeks, and managed to keep the weight off throughout my stay in California. Nearly a month after my return, I had reached the low 160’s with little effort, and I would actually reach my lowest weight in March, at 156.

However, when things seem to be going well, somehow a wrench will be thrown into the system. I suffered through a bad break-up around early spring, and once again found myself lost at the crossroads of life. I kept questioning myself as to whether I even wanted to keep chasing this dream or if it was even possible for me. I would try to work out off and on, but found myself eating to cope with everything – trying to successfully work at two jobs, going through the motions of a bad relationship, and pretty much losing all interest in everything I ever really wanted in life.

After all the self-pity, depression and binging, I came to notice that I had gained ten pounds, I looked like shit (excuse my language) and I was just feeling sorry for myself. Being hard on myself somehow made me feel inspired again to keep chasing after my dreams – I had gotten myself out of a funk and the flame of passion had been reignited. I pushed and pushed to try and make it to 155; the weight at which I planned on walking into the recruiter’s office. But I kept stalling at 162.

About a month ago, I finally made it below 160 again, and SSgt. Pelham gave me another call. Just a few more weeks passed by, the pounds kept dropping, and on Wednesday, June 16, 2010, I finally stepped into SSgt. Pelham’s office at 152 pounds. He was proud of me, and so were the other recruiters when I told them of my weight-loss story. That very same day I also took a practice ASVAB, and my AFQT score was 71 – a score that I was surprised to figure out was considered impressive by their standards. I was also surprised to figure out that SSgt. Pelham had a plan for me: lose 5 more pounds, visit MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station), take the ASVAB, and swear-in all by the end of next week.

It all seemed too good to be true; it happened so fast and I couldn’t believe my dreams were finally coming to fruition. But, believe it or not, it’s finally time for me to take the next steps – this morning I weighed in at 149 pounds, I obtained my necessary medical records, and I am scheduled to take the ASVAB on Monday (I will figure out my boot camp ship date once I sign my contract).

All this information may still come as a shock to some people, but I figured it was just unfair to keep everybody in the dark. I did it solely out of fear, but I no longer fear the judgment of others, because what it comes down to is this...

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

If you want to know anymore about my progress, how I lost the weight or just how things are going, leave me some comments, or send me messages, just whatever. I will post more when I have more to report."
 
Author's note: I had only told a select few friends about my choice to enlist in the Marines before posting this on Facebook back in June 2010. At this point in time, even my family hardly knew of my intentions.

Originally posted on Facebook, 06-19-2010.